PMDD & ME

I wanted to take some time during my journey and talk about something I have been going through for most of my life. This is gonna be taboo no one wants to talk about women’s issues but I’m gonna rip off the bandaid. So let’s talk about Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD).

This isn’t to be confused with PMS. This is PMDD which is PMS on steroids. It is super hard to get diagnosed because most doctors don’t believe in it or understand it. There isn’t a lot of research but they are doing more and more. Basically in a nutshell it is the body’s aggressive response to hormonal fluctuations or as I like to call it, allergic to hormones.

So what does this mean? Every cycle I go through phases. At the beginning of the cycle I am invincible, productive, happy. Time to ovulate, the exhaustion sets in, the self doubt, the frustration, paranoia, anxiety, the depression and the crying. Right before a hormone  surge to start the menstruation I am Dr. Jekyll. I get angry everything, ragy, if you look at me wrong I’m gonna bite your head off. The self hate kicks in and I feel like everyone would be better off if I was dead. Oh and I need chocolate, ice cream, cake, bonus if it is chocolate ice cream cake. 😂😂. These are just the mental symptoms. I won’t go into the physical internal ones. And then as soon as the flow starts I can feel the release. I am back to being me.

This is exhausting and some months are worse than others. I have been taking Prozac to help stabilize some of these issues. It isn’t the fix all but it does help and it levels my head so that I can be aware of what I am thinking and feeling. I am very grateful I am aware. I wasn’t for many years and I am blessed to still be here.

Since I started this journey of self discovery, changing mindset and positivity I have noticed that my symptoms have been easier to manage. The self doubt still creeps in and I am trying my best to power through the exhaustion. It is a work in progress.

Sometimes I think people hide because it is soooo taboo. I mean I did. LOL but maybe I can help someone who may be going through something similar. I am here for anyone who needs it.

I’m gonna close with please, please, please don’t judge people, you do not know what they are going through. Show grace and patience. We are all in this together.

Web MD link of what PMDD is: https://www.webmd.com/women/pms/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder

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